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He develops the habit of always facing backwards on trains.  It’s not a matter of preference but the intentional development of what he believes to be a character quirk.  She is accustomed to red wines lighter than clay and white wines darker than pearls.  He eats shark for dinner, as a delicacy.  She is vegetarian as a fashion statement.  She shot heroin in a past lifetime.  He cleans his gutters regularly – is so enamored with the act that he letters it neatly in his planner, every Saturday of the week, six months in advance.  He smokes marijuana.  He owns a leather couch.  She is 26 today.  She prefers gin and tonic and prepares one now in celebration.  He once gave an ex-girlfriend a fashionable purse made of tree bark.  He once broke up with an ex-girlfriend by taping a “fuck you” sign on her window (facing in).  She was once broken up with under a bridge.  He is excellent with his hands.  She is good with numbers, though inexplicably.  (She loopholed out of math classes in school; her father was the principal as well as an alcoholic.)  He is 29 next week.  He celebrates with a scenic breakdown, which is the best type or the worst, depending on your perspective.  When he is not breaking down he enjoys flowers and fancies himself a botanist.  He rarely has interest in botany on any birthday, and has on several occasions furiously rejected bouquets intended as gifts.  She criticizes food as a profession and enjoys it as a hobby.  She believes this to be overkill and will be fat by age 30.  She dabbled in theater for seven years and still has not mastered a seductive facial expression (though she is an incredible ruminator).  She has a large nose and is consequentially adept at pretending to be Jewish (the need arises more often than one might think).  He appreciates Van Gogh.  He often wonders if Van Gogh had trouble balancing his head upright in the days after he had cut off his ear.  Would the weight shift throw him off?  She owns three vacuums.  She dislikes credit cards.  He once wrote a story by beginning on the ground level of a mall and moving up one floor for each page he completed.  He claimed the arrangement of the stores on each floor would subtly affect his voice as a writer.  The story was unpublishable by any standards.  She is afraid of heights and hats.  The former allows too much freedom, and the latter compresses her head.  She is the type of person who would never realize both of her fears start with the same letter.  He is afraid of death and the dark for this exact reason.  He enjoys most anything if it comes in thirds, though he’s aware this is a useless fascination.  She might argue that all fascinations are useless – might dwell on the concept for hours.  His name is Tony.  Her name was almost Toni, but her parents changed their minds three days before she was born.  Her parents change their minds frequently and are not religious.  He laughs whenever escalators malfunction.  He believes in being either decidedly quiet or decidedly vocal; he despises the interim.  She is open to strangers as a personal philosophy.  She enjoys long poems.  He prefers maps, though they produce the same effect for each.  He believes in God.  She believes in aliens.  Their beliefs coincide.  She steps out of a bar and offers him a cigarette.  He enjoys standing here, in the wind, because it helps him relax.  She is late for a party she'd rather not attend, but implores him to have a nice day.  He will, he says – and he really will.
the recent, who knows
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i-like-balloons Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2009
I really like this, it's really very good. It's interesting and holds your attention... I was going to ask if I could force some of my ideas upon you, but realised that that was pointless as i'm way too impatient to get an answer! I think it could be fun, and interesting, to develop on the story, and making each of those descriptive sentences like a quote at the beggining of a chapter...
anyways, this is great. Well done :)
SmalLiberty Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2008
I really like this.
pirates-not-ninjas Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2007   Writer
i love how discriptive and random it is :) well done
KashaZubrokowa Featured By Owner May 17, 2007
Random as she was in her thoughts she sought to gather together all of her thoughts. Then she walked straight into this misfit, like herself, and random was once again the norm.

Brenda was torn between belief in random thoughts and connecting these thoughts.

So I just gave up for a while. Well, until today.

Fresh -
velvetChiharu Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2006
i rather like how everything was pulled together at the end. the way it made sense and together in my head..
its lack of plot, it makes sense and it feels best.. P:
nonculture Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2006
Your prose has improved, nice. Enjoyed the read all the way through.

I'd like to see a different last line; there has to be a way to continue the comparisons/differences as she walks away just as cleverly as the rest of the piece does it. Just an opinion though - anyway, really enjyed this.
wildoats Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2006
I might like a different ending too, I flipped between two and like them both marginally but wonder if there's something else I'm missing.

I am glad you enjoy the prose, thank you boss.
recurringdelusions Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2006
I like it. I enjoyed how both perspectives collide at the ending, which is actually a beginning because it is when they first meet. The magic here is in the details-- little things like how she pretends to be Jewish sometimes because of her big nose and their little phobias. I don't think it's "overwhelmed" by cleverness. I don't believe anything can be too clever. Pretentious, yes, but that's beyond clever and getting into bloviation. This isn't that, though. It'd be really awesome to see you take these characters further =).
carissima82 Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2006
i like this, but at the same time it is overwhelmed by it's own cleverness. a laundry list of quirks (so long there is no possible way they could belong to only two people, unless they were trying very hard, although i suppose they are) that may in fact be the consequence of the writer being particularly "quirky" or trying very hard to be quirky. what the reader ends up with aren't 2 characters but two collections of idiosyncracies. i cant condemn or condone interested, but not curious. you know?
it just seems too conscious. uber-conscious.

i dont mind how unraveled it is, i only wish it didn't tie together so loosely and inconsequentially. if it were longer, with a more dramatic or mind-fucking close, i'd be hooked.

on the whole, very interesting though. you've definitely gotten better since last i saw.
wildoats Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2006
i would discuss and confirm and debate this with you but perhaps over realtime, i'll find you when you're tootsing around msn
feldon Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2006  Professional Writer
great ending. i tried something like this once and didn't do as well. didn't do so well at all. despite that, this piece is charming and inviting and i really did like it. the grand moments that might never happen at all.
missmidge Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2006
A really cute drabble, if not rather plotless until the very end... But I don't mean that in a bad way - I really liked it.

The end really does tie it all together and left me smiling.

There were heaps of awesome one-liners, too, such as...

~ "She is vegetarian as a fashion statement."

~ "She has a large nose and is consequentially adept at pretending to be Jewish (the need arises more often than one might think)."

~ "He once wrote a story by beginning on the ground level of a mall and moving up one floor for each page he completed. He claimed the arrangement of the stores on each floor would subtly affect his voice as a writer. The story was unpublishable by any standards."

~ "His name is Tony. Her name was almost Toni, but her parents changed their minds three days before she was born."

~ "He believes in God. She believes in aliens. Their beliefs coincide."

(Sorry, I couldn't help but quote them, they're funny. ^^;)

It would an interesting thing to try and expand - break the drabble into sections, add in a plot inbetween, etc - but as I've said, I actually like it. So good job. =)
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Submitted on
October 19, 2006
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